A Preston woman leaving for a three-night trip to Bright has handed her cat-sitter a four-page briefing document, double-sided, covering the dietary preferences, sleeping arrangements and emotional temperament of her three cats, one of whom, according to page two, "will pretend he has not eaten."
The document, titled "Quick Notes For Cat Stuff," opens with a contents page and a laminated quick-reference card for emergencies. A section headed "Reginald" notes that he is "not a lap cat, but may appear to want to be one, do not trust this." Another, headed "The Blue Bowl," states in bold: "He doesn't like the blue bowl. Please use the grey one. If grey is in the dishwasher, use the white one. Do not use blue."
"It's not that long," the woman said, holding the document in both hands. "It's a handover. If you had a toddler you'd write four pages."
Her niece, who agreed to the arrangement on the basis that "it's three days, they're cats," has so far read to page two.
The woman walked her through the house on Sunday evening, pointing out three separate sunny spots, each assigned to a different cat, and a cupboard where one of them sometimes hides, "but only if you've made a loud noise, so please don't make a loud noise."
On Monday morning, the niece sent a photo from Preston. All three cats were visible, eating. The bowl, in the foreground, was blue.
"I haven't said anything," the woman said, reviewing the photo from the Bright visitor centre car park. "It could be the angle. I've asked her to send another one at dinner."
At dinner the photo showed the same three cats, the same blue bowl, and, in the corner, Reginald, asleep on the document.
The woman has since asked her niece to confirm, in writing, which bowl she is using. Her niece replied with a thumbs-up emoji and the word "yes."
"That's not an answer," the woman said. "That's just a yes."