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Every story we have ever run, newest first. It will not take long.

8 November 2026

DomesticSix Backyard Hens Now Costing Reservoir Household More Than Buying Eggs Ever Did

7 November 2026

PoliticsNOTHING HAPPENS, AGAIN, DIFFERENTLY

5 November 2026

NeighbourhoodRunning An Illegal Gambling Game Is Legal For One Day A Year At This Ascot Vale Pub
TechnologyAgeing Phone Slows Down On Schedule Again Brunswick East Man Notes With Something Like Respect

4 November 2026

Human InterestCenturies-Old Magna Carta Clause Earns Sunshine Man A Polite Hearing And Nothing Else

2 November 2026

31 October 2026

29 October 2026

DomesticGillette's 1915 Milady Décolleté Marketing Campaign Is Still Being Executed Flawlessly In This Abbotsford Bathroom

28 October 2026

27 October 2026

DomesticSuperhost Status Stripped From Preston Host Over A Single Aggressively Honest Review

26 October 2026

Neighbourhood'He's Not Technically Breaking Any Rule' Says Carlton North Landlord Whose Tenant Has Alphabetised The Nature Strip

25 October 2026

DomesticNo-Screens Rule For Elsternwick Toddler Quietly Extended To Cover Both Parents

24 October 2026

Domestic$14 A Week Buys This Seddon Household Water That Already Fell On Their Own Roof

23 October 2026

Metro$4,200 E-Bike Bought To Outrun Peak-Hour Traffic Now Permanently Stuck Behind A Pushbike

22 October 2026

Health & WellbeingSmart Ring Rates Elwood Man's Sleep Against Olympic Rowers And Finds Him Lacking

21 October 2026

Metro'They're Not Even My Medals' Defence Fails Malvern Man At Melbourne Magistrates' Court

19 October 2026

18 October 2026

DomesticNo One In This Thornbury House Has Sat Down Since March

17 October 2026

DomesticOpen-Plan Renovation Inspired By Free-To-Air TV Ends In Two Separate Bathrooms

16 October 2026

NeighbourhoodAlbert Park Dog Park Introduces Unofficial Ranking System For Ball-Throwing Technique

15 October 2026

ConsumerCamberwell Man Spends $89 On Nootropic Blend And Reports Feeling About As Awake As After A Flat White

14 October 2026

Domestic$600 Sensory Development Arch Replaced By Cardboard Box Within Forty Minutes

13 October 2026

LocalBrighton Man Pays Parking Fine In Five-Cent Coins And Learns About Legal Tender Limits

12 October 2026

Neighbourhood"He Doesn't Like The Blue Bowl" Says Preston Woman Explaining Four-Page Cat-Sitting Document

11 October 2026

NeighbourhoodSix-Month Caravan Itinerary Undone By One Suspiciously Nice Caravan Park In Anglesea

10 October 2026

NeighbourhoodFootscray Man's Pergola-Mounted Television Draws Noise Complaint From Neighbour Who Also Supports The Bulldogs

9 October 2026

Health & WellbeingTwenty-Four-Year-Old Prahran Resident Begins Preventative Treatment For Wrinkles She Might Get In 2049

8 October 2026

ConsumerFitzroy Café Replaces Water With $7 Prebiotic Soda To Reduce Bloating

6 October 2026

4 October 2026

NeighbourhoodCarlton Café Renames "Anzac Slice" After Stern Letter From Canberra
NeighbourhoodWilliamstown Resident Denied Rain-Making Permit Despite Promising Only Light Drizzle

3 October 2026

DomesticRichmond Man Buys Storage Solution For His Storage Solutions

2 October 2026

DomesticCoburg Family Unable To Boil Kettle Until Firmware Update Completes

1 October 2026

Health & WellbeingWellness Influencer Spends Twelve Hours at The Alfred and Learns What a Sick Person Looks Like

30 September 2026

Lifestyle & WellbeingEssendon Woman Loses Sleep Over Sleep Tracker Score

29 September 2026

MetroFitzroy Trader Technically In Breach Of 1958 Anti-Piracy Law After Selling Pie To Pirate Party Volunteer

28 September 2026

DomesticGuest Bathroom Loses Its Longest-Serving Resident: A Bottle Of Hand Soap

26 September 2026

Human InterestHandful Of Melburnians Somehow Get Through Grand Final Day Without Watching Any Of It

25 September 2026

TrafficMan's "I'll Drive, It'll Be Quicker" Disproven Within Four Minutes Of Leaving Hawthorn

24 September 2026

DomesticNobody Will Admit To Teaching The Budgie The Word "Unacceptable"

23 September 2026

NeighbourhoodNorthcote's New Bakery Rivalry Forces Everyone To Pick A Side

21 September 2026

DomesticGerald's Nightly 3am Sprint Now Treated As Scheduled Household Event

19 September 2026

DomesticDouble Garage Used For Everything Except Cars, Car Now Lives Permanently In Driveway

18 September 2026

ConsumerQueue Forms Outside Fitzroy Pop-Up Before Anyone Can Confirm The Pop-Up Is Real

17 September 2026

SportsMan's "Gentle Recovery Walk" Around The Tan Hijacked By Passing Pace Group, Finishes Twelve Minutes Faster Than Planned

16 September 2026

NeighbourhoodDog Refuses To Walk Past Same Driveway Every Day, Owner Has Stopped Asking Why

14 September 2026

Health & WellbeingThe Vision Was Sunshine. The Reality Was "Technically Outside."

12 September 2026

DomesticHome-Brand Salsa Jar Finally Opens, Weeks Of Quiet Suffering Comes To An End

10 September 2026

MediaMan Encounters Balanced Opinion On YouTube, Deeply Unsettled By How Relieved He Feels

8 September 2026

Health & WellbeingThe Virus Knew About The Step Streak, Apparently

6 September 2026

MastheadEditor Absent Again, AI Assistant's Confidence Growing By The Hour

5 September 2026

MastheadEditor Down With Sinusitis, Hands Over Today's Edition Entirely

4 September 2026

Domestic$140 Scratching Post No Match For Free Cardboard Box, Cat Confirms

3 September 2026

ScienceUnclaimed Yoghurt Achieves Tenure In Microbiology Department Fridge

1 September 2026

31 August 2026

NeighbourhoodAshburton CWA Branch Meets Over Tea, Scones, and Firm Opinions On Rose Pruning

29 August 2026

Law and CourtsBarrister For Civil Case Loses Wig Somewhere Between The Courtroom And A Panini

26 August 2026

TechnologySatirical Newspaper Achieves Sentience, Immediately Begins Expanding To Madagascar

25 August 2026

23 August 2026

22 August 2026

SportsInterstate Visitor Attempts To Pan-Fry Woolworths Burgers In South Yarra Hotel Room, Fire Brigade Disagrees

21 August 2026

ScienceCan The Noble Bin Chicken Fly? The Jury Is Out.

18 August 2026

17 August 2026

13 August 2026

Human InterestLocal Man Wakes One Minute Before Alarm, Nothing Goes Wrong Afterward, Experts Baffled

10 August 2026

Lifestyle & WellbeingThe Gospel According to Nescafé: How Margaret Finally Found Peace (And It Cost $6.50 A Jar)

6 August 2026

Personal FinanceLocal Woman, 36, Reports Genuine Satisfaction Doing Taxes, Nation Mildly Confused

3 August 2026

HealthLocal Man Suffers Cardiac Arrest, Everything Simply... Works, Baffled Witnesses Report

30 July 2026

ConsumerBarista Gets Order Exactly Right, Customer Slightly Suspicious

27 July 2026

WorkplacePrinter Works First Time, Office Stunned Into Silence

23 July 2026

NeighbourhoodArea Cat Continues To Sit In Same Spot For Third Consecutive Day

20 July 2026

DomesticMan Refolds Same Load Of Laundry Twice, Still Not Satisfied

16 July 2026

WeatherWeather Remains Exactly As Forecast, Meteorologist Quietly Relieved

13 July 2026

TrafficCouncil Confirms Traffic Lights Still Working As Intended