Vol. 3, No. 2 — Nothing Has Moved EditionWeather

The Daily Unremarkable

Bureau

The week ahead, and the week they are having

Sydney is 2° warmer than Melbourne this week. This is within the expected range.

Melbourne

  1. TodayOvercast15° 10°UV 8.32pm
  2. MonOvercast22° 6°UV 8.42pm
  3. TueMostly clear26° 10°UV 8.42pm
  4. WedDrizzle17° 13°25%UV 73pm
  5. ThuOvercast18° 12°UV 8.51pm
  6. FriOvercast20° 11°UV 81pm
  7. SatDrizzle17° 13°29%UV 8.22pm

Sydney

  1. TodayDrizzle17° 10°94%UV 7.72pm
  2. MonDrizzle18° 11°71%UV 8.41pm
  3. TueMostly clear22° 11°UV 8.81pm
  4. WedShowers25° 15°33%UV 8.81pm
  5. ThuDrizzle20° 17°55%UV 3.610am
  6. FriOvercast22° 15°24%UV 8.71pm
  7. SatDrizzle25° 18°35%UV 8.21pm

Seven days, updated every ten minutes. Temperatures are the day’s high and low. Percentages are the chance of rain, shown only where it is worth carrying a coat for. UV is the day’s peak and the hour it happens.

An apology: this page is not satire. Every figure above is a genuine forecast, sourced from Open-Meteo rather than invented by the newsroom, because a paper that reports nothing happening can still tell you whether to bring a coat.