A cat named Gerald has, for reasons no one in the household claims to understand, run the same full-speed lap of the house at almost exactly 3am every night for several months, a ritual now regarded less as disruptive behaviour and more as a fixed point in the daily timetable.
"It used to wake us up properly," one member of the household said. "Now it's more like — oh, that's Gerald. Carry on." The run typically begins in the hallway, takes in the lounge room via one dramatic leap off the arm of the couch, and concludes somewhere near the kitchen, where Gerald sits, briefly, before returning to sleep as though nothing happened.
No trigger has ever been identified. There is no laser pointer involved, no late feeding, no obvious external noise. "We've stopped investigating," the household member said. "At this point it feels rude to ask."
Guests staying overnight are now given informal warning in advance, described variously as "don't be alarmed" and "that's just Gerald's thing." One recent guest reported waking briefly, hearing what she assumed was "an intruder, or possibly two intruders," before being reassured the following morning that it was, in fact, one four-kilogram cat.
The household has, in a small way, begun building around it. The washing basket has been moved off the direct hallway route. A phone charger cable, previously left across the lounge room floor, has been relocated after "an incident." Otherwise, life continues.
"I don't think we'd know what to do if he stopped," the household member admitted. "It's basically part of the house now. Like the hot water system making that noise."